Crisis Factory

by Basketball Knees

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about

Life is a factory, manufacturing one crisis after another.
It rips you out of your Ice Cream Shorts, dresses you in $50 T-shirts, and puts you to work to earn them at a dead-end job doing one Repetitive Motion after another.
And what do you do with the money left over?
You end up at Mall Bars trying to connect with people by making Weird Eye Statements, and leaving weak tips like a Status Quo Guy.
And should you ever truly try to Sing Your Voice, you'll only end up ruining the party.

Crisis Factory: a fun, funny album by Basketball Knees.

credits

released November 13, 2016

Basketball Knees are:

Joel Wheeler: Guitar, Vocals
Amye Sagar: Bass, Vocals, Guitar
Calvin Tse: Drums
Peter Crisis: Guitar, Additional Songwriting

Songs written by Joel Wheeler, except:

Repetitive Motion: Joel, Peter Crisis, Amye
Sing Your Voice: Peter Crisis, Joel
Status Quo Guy: Calvin, Peter Crisis, Joel, Amye

Album produced by: Basketball Knees
Engineered, mixed, mastered by: Joel

Cover art and design:
Joel, Amye and Sarah Bonell (even though she still doesn't like the back track listing)

Recorded November 2015-March 2016 at Low Ceiling Studios (apt.)
Except drums, which were recorded (with infinite thanks/gratitude) at Johnny MacLeod's.

Special Thanks:

--Johnny MacLeod for letting us record drums and practice at his amazing space.
--Josh Edgar for support, inspiration and a critical listening ear.
--Alex Timoteo, Chris Kong and Nigel Thompson (Good Timeson) for helping to provide the stories/inspirations for the majority of these songs and song titles.
--Sarah Bonell for listening to way more mixes than one person should be forced to listen to, for offering opinions/advice/consultation on artwork and really any album/artistic related prospects, and for putting up with all our noise when she's trying to go to sleep.
--Aaron (Antics) Vince for Photoshop/Illustrator help.
--Anyone who sings their voice.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Basketball Knees Toronto, Ontario

If sharing this court is a crime, we'll dunk side by side.

contact / help

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Track Name: Mall Bar
She said, "meet me at the mall bar".
What could that mean?
Is she forty-five? Is she fifteen?

She'll probably get the salad: some withering mixed greens.
She'll get the house drink: some kind of fruit martini.

Is this the kind of life I live?
Is this the kind of love I have to give?

I don't wanna be
the kind of guy
who hangs out in mall bars.

So I met her at the mall bar.
This was the scene:
She was a median age,
and her hair was green.

She got the french fries with her fish fillet.
I got a coffee, I got the porter steak.

This is the kind of life I live.
This is the kind of love I have to give.

But I still don't wanna be,
I don't wanna be
the kind of guy
who hangs out at mall bars.
Track Name: Ice Cream Shorts
I don't want to go to school,
I just want to stay and play with you,
and wear my ice cream shorts.

I don't want to break the rules--
but I'll do it!--
if it means we can stay like this forever.

They can take their news reports,
pants full of a cell phone buzzing.
I just want my ice cream shorts--
no laundry or nothing!

Tell me: do you feel the same way?
Do you hate your collared shirts?
Do you want to go to work?

You could stay and play with me.
We'll play blocks and dinosaurs,
and these stains will last forever.

They can take their news reports,
pants full of a cell phone buzzing.
I just want my ice cream shorts,
no laundry or nothing!
Track Name: Repetitive Motion
Today
time went so slow.
Walked around,
nowhere to go.

Fifty minutes,
or was it five?
Time is dead;
I'm still alive.

Oh!
But when those good times come along,
you know,
they're going to blow right by you.
Uh oh, when love comes to town,
you won't
know
what
hit
you.

Amye:
There's nothing to do but sit around at home--
sit around at home and stare at the wall.
Stare at each other, wait 'til we die.
Stare at each other, cross-eyed.
There's kerosene around, find something to do.
There's kerosene around now what do we do?
Tour Monticello in the nude. Bad times come along so soon.
Track Name: $50 T-Shirt
My head is in so many places at once,
that it can't be anywhere.
I'm tired from chasing all these places at once,
now I can't go anywhere.

There's a dust in the air,
that if you breathe it in, you will die--
but you can't see it!
And the studies show
it's been in the atmosphere for years.

That's cool: I've got a $50 T-shirt.
I've got apps!
I've got very few fears...
although sometimes they multiply when

my head is in so many places at once,
that it can't be anywhere.
I'm tired from chasing all these places at once,
now I can't go anywhere.

There's a gas leak in my brain,
that's going to drain me of my wits
in only five to six
decades.
In the meantime, I'm fine. I swear.
I've got a $700 hair cut!
Yeah I know, it's a pretty sweet deal.
Although sometimes
I worry about what's inside

my head--it's in so many places at once,
that it can't be anywhere.
I'm tired from chasing all these places at once,
now I can't go anywhere.
Track Name: Weird Eye Statements
I was talking to my past life
through a screen.
It was exactly like old times,
except it would freeze my face
in uncomfortable expressions...

oh wait, that sounds familiar too.

I can see your eyes only by staring in the window,
but it means you're not seeing mine,
'cause I'm not looking in the camera.
So while we see our faces, nothing is a real reaction...

oh wait, I guess it's always that way.

And it's weird,
but even cave drawings were weird.
And it's weird,
but even telegraphs were weird.
And it's weird,
but even communication breakdowns
precede Zeppelin.

Weird eye statements.
Track Name: Call On Sunday
Dad:
I worked my ass off this week,
picked up a couple new jobs.
Went for a ride out across the lake.
Finished a couple books off:
that Gladwell book was great.
And a cycling book, that was okay.

Waited for your call on Sunday--
I guess you weren't around.
When you don't call me up it always brings me down.
I wish you'd come back home, son. Stop messing around.
Get yourself a better job--get your feet on the ground.

Mom:
Finished class of this week,
some kids remind me of you.
And all those chicken eggs, they hatched.
Your sister's home for the weekend,
she's helping mow the grass.
But it still feels empty without you.

Waited for your call on Sunday,
I guess you weren't around.
When you don't call me up it always brings me down.
I wish you'd come back home, son. Stop messing around.
We'll even pay for the plane--just can't wait to see you again!
Track Name: Sing Your Voice
You showed up late to this thing,
friend of a friend of a friend.
You started talking: you said you played music.
The talk turned to bands:
you voiced an opinion not largely accepted.
To prove your point, you found a guitar on the couch.

You said, "turn off the music!"
We're all so polite, we actually do it.
We sit in silence and stare at the ground,
at our hands--eye contact is hot lava.

Then the thought, it hits me:
what if everybody's having a moment but me?
Am I a monster?
Am I immune to the spontaneous outflow
of arts, and emotions, and overly emotive vocal octave leaps?

Either way, I'm having a crisis.
If I could go back in time I'd tell you:

If you sing at the party (yeah yeah yeah),
you're gonna ruin the party (yeah yeah yeah).

You were a stranger in a room full of friends,
it's hard! I'm not too good with that shit, either.
When you're trying to make the conversation turn your way,
but nobody wants to give you the time of day.
But you know just how you're going to win them over,
'cause when you're armed with a guitar you're a super-soldier.
All your friends and family say you're talented as hell:
you sound like Janis Joplin mixed with Adele.

But, I've got to warn you.
So you're aware:

if you sing at the party (yeah yeah yeah),
you're going to ruin the party (yeah yeah yeah).
Track Name: Status Quo Guy
I only tip
every second drink.
Servers make enough money
and they can quit if it stinks!

I don't recycle.
I'm gonna die anyway,
before the planet heats up.
I wasn't born yesterday!

I'm a status quo kind of guy.

If I saw you on the streets
and you needed a couple of bucks.
I would say, "That's just too bad--
sometimes life kind of sucks.
You could always get a job.
Maybe as a server?
Just don't expect any tips--
I am not a life preserver!"

I'm just a status quo kind of guy.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah.

I'm just a status quo kind of guy.